What occupies you?Your attentionYour expectationsYour relationshipsYour fearsYour desiresThe person you think you need to beAnd how much of it did you consciously choose?-Maybe nothing is wrong.Maybe something simply no longer fits.The workThe relationshipThe way you've been livingThe person you've learned to beYou may feel something changing without knowing what comes next.You may not even know what you want.You may not even recognize yourself inside the life you've built.That doesn't necessarily mean you're lost.You may simply have reached the edge of something that has finished serving you.
Christopher hereI've spent my life exploring what it is to be human in the face of expectations.
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My path has moved through military service, caregiving, grief, clinical study, psychology, occupational therapy, healing, identity, relationships, and the repeated dismantling of belief structures that I accepted defined me.
--But the most radical, valuable education didn't happen in a classroom.It happened through living.Through caring for my father after a massive brain injury.Through grief.Through relationships.Through moments when life appeared meaningless.And through discovering, again and again, that what I thought I needed to be fixed required a shift in perspective.Ultimately, I've come to trust questions more than answers.Presence more than performance.Experience more than explanation.And inspiration more than obligation.I don't believe my role is to tell you who to become.I'm much more interested in what becomes possible when we stop requiring ourselves to be someone else.
The OccupationA Practice of Remembering
What occupies your lifeYour attentionYour relationshipsYour workYour expectationsYour griefYour desiresYour sense of who you areAnd which of those occupations are still serving you?
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The Occupation is a six-month private inquiry into what occupies your life, your attention, and your sense of self.There is no predetermined version of you we're trying to create.No curriculum to master.No destination I've decided you need to reach.Life is the curriculum.
Your experience is the material.We meet every week for 90 minutes.You bring whatever is alive.A relationship.A decision.Grief.Desire.Confusion.Joy.Fear.Work.Silence.The feeling that something needs to change.Or simply recognizing the way you've been living no longer feels authentic.We notice.We question.We feel.We allow.Sometimes I reflect.Sometimes I challenge.Sometimes it's just silence.And together, we discover what is felt.Between our conversations, life continues.Through noticing what occupies your attentionThe Occupation isn't about becoming someone new.Perhaps it's about becoming intimate enough with your own experience to remember what you already know.
You might find yourself here if...Something in life has ended—even if it hasn't physically ended yet.You no longer recognize yourself inside the life you've built.You know something needs to change, but you don't know what.You're exhausted from treating yourself like a problem or equation that needs to be solved.You've spent years understanding yourself intellectually, but something deeper is asking to be experienced.You know what you want, but you're afraid of who might be disappointed if you choose it.The things that once gave your life direction no longer bring you joy.You're somewhere between who you've been and whatever comes next.You don't need to know what you're looking for.Not knowing may be part of why you're here.--This isn't about fixing anything.We don't begin with the assumption that you're broken.The Occupation isn't therapy.Therapy can be extraordinarily valuable.
The Occupation is not mental-health treatment and isn't a substitute for working with an appropriately licensed healthcare professional when that support is needed.It isn't conventional coaching.We aren't beginning with a predetermined goal and optimizing you toward it.It isn't a course.There are no modules to complete or philosophy to master.And it isn't spiritual instruction.You aren't required to adopt my beliefs about God, consciousness, identity, death, healing, or anything else.In fact, agreement isn't particularly interesting to me.Inquiry is.You don't need to believe what I know for us to become curious together.______________________Realizations I've come to know>>Not things I need you to believe.Things I've encountered deeply enough in my own life that they have become irrefutable.-You are already worthy because you exist- And you exist because you are worthy.-Experience is meant to be experienced--Allowance restores choice--Attention is the most precious gift we give and receive--Inspiration is more trustworthy than obligation--Desire does not make you incomplete--Everything serves until it no longer does--Wisdom is memory without the emotional charge--Nothing essential was ever missing-
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These aren't conclusions you need to adopt.They're things we can investigate.
You don't need to know whether The Occupation is right for you.You don't need to have your story organized or know exactly what you're looking for.Reaching out doesn't commit you to six months of anything.If you are called, we begin here.What's alive for you right now?What brought you here?What would you like me to know?I'll read what you share.And if it feels like there's something worth exploring together, we can decide what the next conversation wants to be.No predetermined outcome.Just a place to begin.
I’m so grateful and honored to have met Christopher while living in Costa Rica 🇨🇷
I remember a month after meeting him I had to ask him what his daily practices where as he is one of the most grounded people I know. I naturally felt so comfortable to share so much with him, he has the ability to create an amazing environment, energy, where it’s so easy to just open up and genuinely share life experiences even the ones I once felt ashamed to share because of the fear of being judged. His guidance was always gentle, direct, authentic, a reminder to come home to myself and my authenticity,. I think he has the gift to remind people of that. I connected with him at a time I was going through a lot in life, questioning so many things and he guided and supported me to truly come to accepting my inner truth of who I am. Being in his presence is amazing, it gives a feeling of safety, compassion, understanding and so much more. I will forever be grateful to his teachings, his wisdom and his guidance.
~I.N.
Christopher - The Human Experience
I didn't figured life out.Life has given me countless opportunities to discover how little I actually know.I've been a soldierA studentAn occupational therapistA caregiverA sonA guideA partnerI've experienced grief, love, disappointment, uncertainty, joy, endings, beginnings, and more than a few versions of myself I once believed were permanent.And somewhere along the way, I became less interested in being right.I became interested in what is actually here & now.__________For a long time, I thought growth meant becoming.Becoming better.Becoming healthier.Becoming more successful.Becoming more disciplined.Becoming more healed.Becoming more of whoever I thought I was supposed to be.Life has repeatedly invited me into something different.Not becoming.Re-membering.Remembering that my worth was never something I needed to earn.Remembering that feeling deeply doesn't equate to shame or guilt.Remembering that another person's disappointment didn't necessarily mean I had betrayed them.Remembering that I could choose where I placed my attention even when I couldn't choose what was happening around me.Remembering that I didn't need to know exactly where life was going in order to participate fully in where I was.And perhaps most importantly:Remembering that I was never as separate as I had imagined myself to be.________I don't share these things because I need you to believe them.In fact, I'm increasingly uninterested in convincing anyone of anything.I'm interested in experience.I'm interested in what happens when an idea stops being something we understand intellectually and becomes something viscerally experienced.I'm interested in the moment someone realizes:I already knew this.Not because I told them.It simply was no longer ignorable.________I don't assume that because you're hurting, something is wrong with you.Or that because you're uncertain, you need clarity immediately.Or that because you're grieving, the grief needs to disappear.Or that because you don't know what you want, someone else should tell you.And I definitely do not assume that my way of seeing life needs to become yours.I am much more interested in what becomes possible when you are allowed to encounter yourself without immediately being asked to change.Sometimes that encounter is uncomfortable.hilarious.Sometimes there's grief.silence.And sometimes nothing changes except the way you relate to what is already here.That can be enough.
What Shaped Me
Life continues to be a remarkable teacher. Especially when it doesn’t go as planned.I grew up in the Sonoran Desert of southern Arizona, surrounded by cactus, excruciating heat, dryness, and beauty I was not yet equipped to appreciate.There was something about the heat and inability to ever fully cool-off that forged a quality of resilience that ultimately would carry me into the military and the jungles of central AmericaAt the age of 9, I picked up the saxophone and have yet to put it down. It carried me across the world and showed me how deeply important musical expression is to my evolution and ability to communicate.
The many lives within a lifetime
I served 13 years in the United States Army.
It gave me opportunities to question the identities I construct around what I do, often unconsciously.
Soldier. Professional. Provider. Leader.
All useful & meaningful.
The question remains to this day:
Who am I when I no longer do what I've come to believe defines me?
The occupation of being human
My academic path eventually led me into psychology and occupational therapy.I became fascinated by what truly occupies time, particularly when we go unconscious.In OT, occupation refers to the meaningful activities through which we participate in life:
Work. Relationships. Rest. Play. Caregiving. Everyday routines.I became increasingly interested in what occupies me.What occupies my attention?
My emotional life?
Sense of purpose?
Relationships?
Expectations?
And how much of what I occupy have I consciously chosen?What began as a professional field of study gradually became a much deeper personal & spiritual inquiry.It continues to this day.
When life becomes the teacherIn 2020, my father experienced a massive brain injury.In 2021, my mother passed away.These experiences changed the way I understand life itself.I encountered grief in ways no amount of intellectual understanding could fully prepare me for.I couldn’t think my way out of what was flooding through me.I also encountered love in forms I hadn't previously recognized.My expectations, the tenderness of being human, and the extraordinary invitation to allow life to be exactly as it is—all were confronted despite wishing it all could have unfolded differently.
From understanding to experiencingIncreasingly, I find that knowledge alone isn't necessarily wisdom.I can understand something intellectually and still attempt to organize life around resisting it.Somewhere along the way, I began asking a different question.What if I stopped trying to become someone worthy of love and began allowing myself to receive the depth of self-worth that has and always will exist?That question transformed my curiosity.
The life I'm living nowToday, I find myself increasingly drawn toward simplicity.
Open spaces.
Mountains.
Trees.
Silence.Conversations that don't need to arrive anywhere.
The extraordinary experience of breathing consciously and recognizing that, for this moment, nothing else is required of me.I'm less interested in accumulating identities, achievements, possessions, or answers.And more interested in living life, fully.What deserves my attention.
What I'm willing to allow.
What I'm ready to stop carrying.What becomes possible when I participate in life without insisting it unfold according to my expectations.I haven't arrived at some final understanding.
I don't imagine that I will.Life continues to reveal itself.
And I continue to be its student.Perhaps the most meaningful thing these experiences have given me is not a collection of answers.It's a growing willingness to encounter life as it is.And to sit with another human while they encounter theirs.
What I've Come to Know through ExperienceThe more life I live, the less interested I've become in telling anyone how it should be.There are, however, certain things I've come to realize through my own experience.These are a few of those realizations.
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We are worthy because we exist.
Worth isn't something earned, demonstrated, defended, or to become.It isn't dependent upon accomplishments, relationships, usefulness, productivity, or the approval of another human being.________________________
Everything is serving us in some capacity.
Even the experiences we wouldn't have consciously chosen.Even the ones we resist and suffer through.Even the ones we couldn't understand when they were happening.That doesn't mean we need to enjoy every experience, excuse harmful behavior, or remain somewhere that no longer serves us.It means we can choose to remain curious about what an experience is making possible rather than deciding it should never have happened.
______________________
We are here to experience life.
Not merely the parts we prefer.Joy, love, gratitude, inspiration, and wonder.But also sadness, disappointment, anger, boredom, fear, uncertainty, and grief.Loving ourselves doesn't require us to feel differently.
It invites us to become increasingly willing to feel what is here now.
Self-love, for me, is the art of allowance.
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Attention is our most precious currency.There are countless circumstances we cannot control.
What others think.
What they choose.
What has already happened.
What tomorrow may bring.But we can practice becoming conscious of where we place our attention.So I continuely ask:
Where is my attention now, in this moment?
And am I consciously choosing it?
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Inspiration is more trustworthy than obligation.Another's disappointment doesn't necessarily mean we've done something wrong.Living authentically doesn't require us to stop caring about others.It invites us to become more honest and transparent about what is actually being felt, now.We don't need to control how life unfolds.
We can desire.
Choose.
Participate.
Act.For me, trust isn't the absence of action.It's the willingness to participate fully without insisting that life follow my preferred script.
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Wisdom is memory without the emotional charge.We don't need to erase our past.
And we don't need to pretend that difficult experiences didn't happen.There is no need to make every memory mean something about who we are today.An experience can remain part of my story without continuing to occupy my present.What remains can become wisdom.Not becoming.
Remembering.
____________________________
I don't need you to agree with any of this.
These are things I've come to know.
Your experience may reveal something entirely different.
And that interests me just as much.
What have you come to know?
How I GuideCuriosity
About what you're experiencing.
What occupies your attention.
What you've come to believe about yourself.
What you're holding on to.
What you're unwilling to allow.
What have you yet to give yourself permission to acknowledge.
I'm not here to tell you who you are, who you should become, or what your life is supposed to look like.
I'm here to meet you where you are, now.
"There is something wise and ancient that emanates through him, a groundedness rooted in the remembrance of the authentic self beyond the clutter of the mind... Whatever you choose to be guided in, you can be sure that Christopher will have done the personal work required to meet you with presence, preparation, and integrity."
~Elmor Becker
Adventures with Elmor - South Africa & Costa Rica
The OccupationA Practice of Remembering
If this way of meeting life resonates with you, I've created a six-month private guidance experience called The Occupation.
It's an opportunity to explore these questions together, using your actual life as the material.
No predetermined version of you to become.
No philosophy you need to adopt.
Just a willingness to show up, encounter what's here, and see what becomes possible.
_________________________Life is the curriculum.
Your experience is the material.
Attention is the practice.
Remembering is the movement._______________________
What happens when we meet?
We connect for 90 minutes, every week, over six months.
You bring your life as it is.
There may be something specific you want to explore.
Or we may begin with a simple question:
What's occupying you right now?
From there, our conversations unfold through curiosity, presence, reflection, and inquiry.I may ask a question that interrupts a familiar story.
Reflect something I notice.
Invite you to consider another perspective.There is no prescribed outcome we need to manufacture.Between our conversations, life continues.Through living._________________________What The Occupation asks of you
Not perfection.
Not agreement with my worldview.
Not a willingness to become someone I've decided you should be.
Simply a willingness to participate.
To be curious.
To notice.
To question what you've come to believe.
To take responsibility for the choices that are yours.
And to allow the possibility that something you've considered unquestionably true might be worth looking at again.
You can disagree with me.
You can be uncertain.
You can be resistant.
You can arrive without knowing what you want to say.
There is no growth performance here.
________________________What you can expect from me
I will meet you with presence, curiosity, honesty, care, and compassion.
I will listen.
I will reflect what I notice.
I will ask questions.
I may challenge an assumption or offer a perspective you haven't considered.
I will respect your agency, your boundaries, and your right to see life differently than I do.
I won't pretend to know what your life should become.
And I won't promise an outcome that belongs to your own unfolding.
My commitment is to the integrity of our relationship and the quality of attention I bring to it.
_________________________The practical details
Duration: Six months
Private sessions: 24 individual, 90-minute conversations, generally held every week.
Between-session connection: Written and voice reflections to support our ongoing inquiry, with communication expectations agreed upon together
Closing: A final integration conversation during our sixth month (our final session)
Format: Private, one-to-one guidance, available remotely
Beginning: By mutual agreement, following an introductory conversation
The Occupation is a private guidance relationship. It is not psychotherapy, medical treatment, or crisis support, and it does not replace professional care when that is needed.
_______________________The exchangeThe Occupation is a six-month private guidance experience consisting of 24 individual, 90-minute conversations, generally meeting once a week.Participation is available in four-session commitments of $600.You may also choose to contribute $3,300 for the full six months, reflecting a $300 reduction from the installment total.At the midpoint of our time together, we'll intentionally revisit the relationship, what you've experienced, and whether continuing feels meaningful.If our work reaches a natural completion before six months, unused prepaid sessions are refundable according to our agreement.I also make room for a limited number of individually supported arrangements, including reduced or donation-based contributions, when circumstances call for greater flexibility.The invitation is six months. The commitment is to participating consciously—not remaining out of obligation.
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A few things worth knowing-What if I'm already working with a therapist?
The Occupation can be considered separately from therapeutic care, provided the roles and boundaries are clear. It is not a replacement for therapy.-What happens after six months?
We close by reflecting on what you've experienced, what you've come to know, and how you'd like to continue participating in your life.There is no obligation to continue working together.
I really didn’t know what to expect when I started working with Christopher. There were so many questions I had about what guidance actually meant and he answered them all in his own way which was refreshing. It didn’t feel like coaching or therapy, although our time together was very therapeutic for me. He has a way of pointing things out that made me feel like I had the answers all along. There were times I felt powerless in my ability to affect change and he helped me remember how important those “down times” actually are. I would recommend his service to anyone ready to become the one they’ve always been waiting for.
~Jason L.
A place to begin
You don't need to decide today whether six months together is right for you.We can begin with a conversation.I'll read what you share, and we can explore whether working together feels appropriate.No commitment. Just a place to begin.What occupies you now?
Perhaps the question feels a little different than it did when you arrived.
Notice that.Your words will be treated with care and used to respond to your inquiry. Please avoid including sensitive medical or other highly personal information in this initial message.
Guidance is to walk hand-in-hand, neither behind nor in front of